Yet the smoke was curling upwards in a faint
innocent-looking cloud to the ceiling. She realized more and more the
quality of the brink upon which she stood—the dreadful readiness with which in
certain moods she might plunge, the unmitigated wrongness and recklessness of
such a self-abandonment. Courtlaw sat with
folded arms. I
know I am undeserving of your bounty; but if I were to tell you what hardships I
have undergone—to what frightful extremities I have been reduced—and to
what infamy I have submitted, to earn a scanty subsistence for this child's sake,
—if you could feel what it is to stand alone in the world as I do, bereft of all who
have ever loved me, and shunned by all who have ever known me, except the
worthless and the wretched,—if you knew (and Heaven grant you may be spared
the knowledge!) how much affliction sharpens love, and how much more dear to
me my child has become for every sacrifice I have made for him,—if you were
told all this, you would, I am sure, pity rather than reproach me, because I cannot
at once consent to a separation, which I feel would break my heart. ‘Pray you, do me this one little service, and do
not ask me why. For a moment or two Gerald stood in the total silence of amazement, his pistol
up and pointing, aware that Hilary was likewise stunned, standing with halfdrawn sword. ‘Don’t look at me like that,’ Martha begged. A deadly sickness came over her, the room seemed spinning
round.
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This video was uploaded to m.damaulifm.org on 02-07-2024 20:31:40